If you’re getting notified about this, FYI, this post is old.
Picking up from yesterday –
Some people wind up with assholes for a long time. It’s not great. But it happens. I still don’t expect them to raped. And I don’t expect us to be okay with it if that happens.
I expect an asshole to forget my birthday, or stand me up for a date, or maybe lie to me about something kind of important. (Still not excusing that stuff, but I’m just saying that’s sort of more along the lines of what I expect from an asshole.)
I don’t expect him to put his penis inside of me when I am uncontrollably shaking with fear, and saying out loud that that’s why I’m shaking (not ’cause I’m cold or some random reason, but because I’m afraid – which I voice).
I don’t expect him to ignore me when I start bawling, and again voice out loud that the reason I’m uncomfortable is him. I don’t expect him to keep plowing forward as though nothing is wrong.
Is that am asshole move? Sure! Yeah. But is that all it is? No.
It’s one of those many things in life in which “a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle is not always a square.”
Rape is always an asshole move, but an asshole is not always a rapist.
And look at that sentence right there – “rape is always an asshole move.” Did you read that and think, “What? That doesn’t sound nearly serious enough when you’re talking about rape, to just call it an asshole move.”
That’s my point! It’s more than that.
And I think we should be careful about how we talk about this stuff, as too many people say “she knew he was a jerk. She should’ve known what she was getting into.”
And this is where I’ll pick up tomorrow!