If you’re getting notified about this, FYI, this post is old.
Picking up from yesterday –
I’m not saying you can’t ever call anyone an asshole. If you hear a story of a significant other forgetting an important day (promotion, anniversary, birthday, whatever) for like the 10th time, and you see this pattern of exhausting behavior, then I understand if you say, “of course they did! They always do! They’re an asshole, break up with them!”
(I mean, I know. How great if we had unending empathy for our friends, and didn’t have to get all grrr with them about their decisions… But I also believe that part of empathy and love is those friends sometimes giving us a wider perspective things and sometimes calling out our decisions a bit… So, I’m not saying don’t ever get exhausted by assholes…)
I’m merely saying, don’t use the umbrella “asshole-ness” as an excuse for sexual assault and rape. They are very serious issues, and it’s not the same as someone just leaving you on read for a few days.
Let’s please not excuse criminals, or blame women just because we’re supposed to make some magical leap in our minds to somehow “know” that someone who’s kinda rude, or just not so great in certain ways, is a rapist-in-waiting.
There is no excuse for rape – certainly not just being a jerk. So, don’t shrug your shoulders and accept that excuse from anyone.
[This is a post from the sexual assault series.]