Picking up from yesterday –
Now, I say I want to try to take it away because in reality, I know I’m still gonna judge people on game shows and news shows and everything, because we all do. So, maybe that’s just my lot in life for this episode – to have chosen to go on at a pretty inconvenient time for myself, and so then I get memed (or sort of just video-clipped I guess). That’s… fine, I guess. So be it haha. It hurts a little, but it’s just the internet, I guess.
*Note: I will say Wheel DOES give you the option to forfeit and go back in the pool of people. But I didn’t want to do that for reasons I’ll get into, since clearly this will be a series (like the other game show series’).
Also, I had like way too much in my heart riding on Wheel of Fortune. So, when it didn’t ‘live up to my own expectations,’ it was a pretty huge bummer for me. [The Happiness Lab says basically not to preplan big dreams in your life for this exact reason – although on The Price Is Right, it came true, so I dunno.]
Some of the reasons I’ve hyped it up so much in my head are – as you’ve seen on my blog, I took a very long hiatus after a ‘traumatic event’. And I thought Wheel was gonna be my “big return!” People love game show series’ on my blog! I’ll win. They’ll love it. I’ll feel triumphant. It’ll be the beginning of my “new life,” where I sort of have my confidence back, and my momentum will be going, baby!
Also, I’d gotten pretty fat after said traumatic event, which was very embarrassing (for me, at least, especially having already had a weight loss journey earlier in life – I didn’t want to do that again, but a deep depression grabbed ahold of me). I’d gone to a bunch of therapy, become myself again, and lost a toooon of weight. And I really wanted plastic surgery to get the excess skin and stuff removed. So, I wanted to win all that sweet, sweet dough on Wheel. It was gonna be my big “final nail in the coffin to my trauma!” thing. So, I wanted to win the bonus round, so I could pay for said surgery – and keep all this new triumph going!
That was the plan. – be triumphant, win the bonus round, get the surgery to finally officially finish the “fix” of my past, and talk about all that triumph, in my triumphant return to blogging.
(Is that enough time saying triumph? ;).)
That obviously did not happen haha
But. I’m still skinny (ish), and I’m back to blogging (maybe also ish, since it’s only day 2 back), and I’m alive. I have enough money to live.
So, I didn’t get the exact picture I wanted, but here we are, and this is still good in its own special way of embarrassing myself on TV, and also winning the game still (yay!).
We will SO get into every little detail. Let’s do it – starting tomorrow!