I said in my 3 birthday questions I didn’t want to ride the fence again.
And the biggest example of a time when I’ve done that – originally I was thinking about being a little coy about the show or the exact amount of money, but I don’t care, I’ll just tell you straight out haha.
So, back when I got hired on The Daily Show, they originally hired me for just a short-term, 3-ish week thing. And when I was negotiating my salary, at the job I’d had before the TDS, I was making $3,500/week. TDS negotiated me down to $3,250.
Of course I didn’t love the idea of making $250/week less, but for a college dropout in her 20s, to work on a show she’d dreamed of working on since she was a kid, it was pretty good money for a pretty good gig. Plus, I got practically half-day Fridays, so why not?
When they asked me to stay full-time, they were like “we want you to be in the family!” I was so honored, until I was hit with “of course, that means you’ll have to take a pay cut.”
They asked me to take $2,750/week. I was like “um… that’s… $500 less than what I’m currently making here, and literally a week ago, I just took $250 less from what I was already making at my job before this. So, you’re asking me to come down $750/WEEK from where I started, and $500/week from where I already am on your show.
And the woman who was talking to me seemed annoyed that I was even annoyed or wanted to negotiate. I think she expected me to leap at the chance to work on the show full-time.
But the normal minimum rate that separated editors from juniors at the time was to make $3,000/week. I knew for a fact that all the men on staff [except maaaaybe the new one?] were making over $3,000/week. [I had an inkling the new editor was as well, but I wasn’t 100% sure. I really do wish I knew haha.] Either way, $3,000 was minimum industry standard for editors at the time. I already had about 2 years in late night at that point. I wanted what was fair.
I was even willing to go down another $250/week(!) from where I already was on that show!
And she just stood really firm that I was being ridiculous or asking too much or whatever. She’s like “you’ll get benefits!” And I’m like “I literally came down $250/month already to work here! I’m willing to do another $250! How much do benefits cost? I can buy my own insurance. Damn.”
We went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
And finally, she’s like “$2,875.” I’m like “I really want $3,000.” She stood firm at $2,875. I was like, “Can you at least do $2,900?” And she was like “Are you gonna be that stubborn over $25/week?” And I was like, “Are you?”
She agreed to $2,900. And she was very much “take it or leave it. I will not go higher than that, no matter what.”
For me, it clearly wasn’t about actual money. It was about being respected as an editor – and the only female editor on staff.
And, if anyone else in the world had weirdly negotiated with me to take $350/week less than what I was already making AT THAT JOB, after they JUST negotiated me down $250/week the week before, I would’ve laughed in their face, grabbed my purse, and just left.
…But that’s not what happened.
Because it was The Daily Show. I wanted to work there! But I also wanted to be respected as much as the men.
My desire to work my dream job clashed very much with my desire to get “justice” and stand up for myself.
And so for 3 months I was miserable, because everyday I just wondered if I should quit. I took all slights toward women more personally. Anything even half-sexist stood out to me. [e.g. Why were the bathrooms next to the assistants stocked with free tampons, but the ones next to the technical people didn’t have any?]
Granted, there was some sexism that was clear and present. [Don’t even get me started on the Hillary Clinton audiobook drop day, or do. I like to rant about it.]
The point is, I suffered for 3 months or so, right on the fence. “I want to stay, but I can’t. I don’t want to stay, but I should. I’ll stay. I’ll go. I’ll stay. I’ll go.”
And to some extent, there’s something to be said for seeing if you can find happiness in an imperfect situation. Nonetheless, I think I could’ve made an argument either way.
I could’ve said, “Hey, even $2,900/week is more than enough money for a single girl – especially a college dropout. I’m gonna chose to just be happy and enjoy a job I’ve dreamed about since I was a kid.”
OR I also could’ve just as easily said, “$3,000/week is the understood industry minimum for editors. The boys are making it. You’re a rich show. You can afford it. This is ridiculous. I’m work more than this.” And waaaaaalked out.
But what I should’ve done was pick one STRONGLY, plant my feet firmly in that decision, and REALLY go for it. If I was gonna try to be happy, REALLY believe I could be happy and leap into it. If I was gonna go, go and don’t look back.
So, that’s my biggest riding the fence story, and I’d like to not do that anymore.